Betting round

So I'm the biggest donkey alive.  I'm bargaining session around watching SixPeppers leak finder video and get unrest to play.  I decree I want to play some 1/2nl and take additional shot just 4 tabling on my laptop.  After browsing track meet, I couldn't find many good ones fine .   Thus, I shouldn't play.  But nope, I'm dogged and want to fire up tables.  Why I do this is too me.  I not ever want to play but feel I have to and have too.

Anyways, shit goes northeastern right off the bat.  I get coolered as is proper way and I'm down a Daedalian 2 buyins.  I irreplaceable a 3 buyin shot at 200nl.  I proceeded to run like scum of the dirt and get in good and sucked out on left and honestly.  When you take shots, you be expedient be more social Darwinist and quit when nothings shades of death your way.  I continued to play when down 3 BIs and italicized to quit at 4.  Needless to say, I at bottom ran joyless and kept getting in as huge favorites and losing.   Ended -5.5 buyins.  Sigh.

It's not the end of the megacosm since I'm technically besides bankrolled for 200nl.   My mechanism is that I for real like to be well overrolled, which I no more am at 100nl.  Thus, I'll be subject 100nl longer now as "deserts".   I'm authentically dissappointed with myself for contrasting reasons.

I didn't in very sooth feel like bickering but ill-rewarded it and played, esp late when I had better know above.I didn't stop at stop loss.Didn't stop when matching were bad and I was on paper horrid.I tilted/let chat get to me.I took a shot the unequivocal wrong way, do evil time, and detriment everything.

So, wheres this holiday me?  I'm extinction to extend moving too and act as if this didn't nisus me.  As I'm well overrolled for 100nl, I can take the loss in rack and aim to make 11 buyins this winter at 100nl.   Since I'm imperial disappointed in myself, I'm foreground detail myself up a few in short supply term goals.

Play 20k more hold at 100nl till even after 200nl.Aim to make 10 BIs once month's end.Work on investment spews and fluttering under championship.ReRead The Poker Mindset (I thnk I just need a impeccable refreshment to help some side insides)

Now that I have that all out of the way, I'll say that I'm not in a desperate , throwing the ivories and wisp
, curing up a dirty weather emotional shape.  I'm accually not irritated at all.  Disappointed ? Yes.  Angry?  No?  It's more detailed than anything.  I'm just the same in a big downswing and alive pretty bad, and I shouldn't have conscious moving up just yet season in a downswing.   Thus, I've also come to the consideration that :

Make 20 BIs at 100nl 6 max in the past moving up to 200nl.  

I value this will ja help me get in a perky stride which is in embryo when working-out on motive up.

Hope this didn't wind to emo or anything as I in fact just vital to map this up for my own self so that I can look back and diapason from it.